whenever im sad i just think about how the welsh word for microwave is popty ping
that.. that helps.
Per tag-based request from the wonderful sabaceanbabe, this is true. It means the pinging oven. Actually, technically, it means the pinging bakehouse. We just put the sound “ping” at the end of a word for oven. That’s all we did.
The “pop” part is purely coincidental in its amusing implications in English, but believe me, no one here thinks it’s any less hysterical. We all say “meicrodon,” which is a transliteration of “microwave” because it’s a microwave. But officially, our official linguistic overlords have decreed, it’s a pinging fucking bakehouse.
(And don’t even get me started on the official translation for “deadline”, where instead of the eminently sensible “time limit” we instead say, THE LINE OF DEATH. No really, I work in a welsh language office. This comes up fairly regularly. As do arguments about whose turn it is to clean the pinging bakehouse.)
I know so many Welsh-speakers who get so angry about popty ping, though, precisely because no one actually uses it and then xenophobes use this ‘fact’ to mock Welsh and make out that it’s a stupid language. Like, I have literally never heard a single person legitimately use ‘popty ping’. We really do just use ‘meicrodon’ (which is a translation, not a transliteration - that’s just my pedantry, though, do ignore me everyone.)
I believe Mared has made it her life goal to learn how to crawl out of microwaves like the woman from The Ring and murder anyone who tries to spread the popty ping thing, in fact. And anyway, meicrodon sounds like a digital dinosaur. Much better.
Just in case I have saddened anyone by taking popty ping away, though, here is a list of marvellous Welsh idioms or names for things to make up for it:
Butterfly (formal): iar bach yr haf (little chicken of the summer)
Ladybird: buwch goch gota (brief red cow)
Dragonfly: gwas y neidr (the servant of the snake)
By himself: ar ei ben ei hun (on his own head)
Greedy: mor wancus â’r wenci (as greedy as a stoat; this one sounds like you’re saying ‘wank’ twice, though, so has extra joy)
Raining cats and dogs: bwrw hen wragedd a ffyn (raining old ladies and sticks)
To stay the weekend: bwrw Sul (to hit Sunday)